5 Things to Ask Yourself When You Are About to Blow Your Top

So…if you have been following the blog for a while, you know every now and then I have to come with the “super real” topics.

We have all had those days when we are about to GO OFF.

You know, like when that man blows the horn at you, cuts you off in traffic, and uses hand gestures that aren’t too kind.

Or, like when that lady in the store cuts in front of you. I literally had this happen to me last night.

I’m sure teachers and administrators often have these days when it comes to dealing with difficult parents.

How about when your kids act like they were raised in a barn but anything other than a human, and you KNOW that they know better?

And, if you have a customer service related job, you know all too well when someone uses “colorful language”, threatens you in some way, or is just plain old rude for no reason, sometimes you want to BLOW YOUR TOP.

But, after you respond and have that “unbecoming interaction,” it sometimes leaves you feeling guilty for possibly hurting someone’s feelings, and ashamed of your actions.

Although we know we will be forgiven if we repent, as a Christian, it can damage your witness. Unbelievers will look at you, without a doubt, and say, “I thought she was a Christian! Is that that how a Christian is supposed to act?”

To help us avoid these feelings and consequences, I came up with a list of Things To Ask Yourself When You Are About to Blow Your Top.

1. Will this interaction bring glory to God? I know you feel like if you give that sister a piece of your mind, that will make you feel GREAT right about now. But if you do, will you be displaying Godly character? 1 Peter 2:12 says “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.” Although we know we are not saved by works, by professing the name of Christ, we have an obligation to glorify our Father in Heaven by our conduct. We want to make sure that whatever we do, whether in word or deed, we are in fact honoring our Father.

2. What is the best way to articulate what needs to be said without showing annoyance or frustration? Take a pause! Breathe girl! Let’s think about this. True enough, communication is key and there are some conversations that need to be had and cannot be avoided. In order to have effective communication, we have to be mindful about HOW we are communicating. Sometimes it’s not what we say, it’s how we say it that makes all the difference. And sometimes, you just have to walk away. The fruit of the spirit that needs to be displayed here is patience, gentleness, and self-control. Proverbs 12:16 tells us “Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.” Let wisdom prevail.

3. Is this going to be kind and helpful? Is there any possibility that someone can be injured by what I’m about to say? Now you may be thinking, “In the heat of the moment, girl, I DON’T CARE!” But later on, you will be convicted, and you will care. We want to make sure that we are loving our neighbor as ourselves. The bible tells us in 1 John 4:20 “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, who they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” Although we may say we don’t “necessarily” hate our brother or sister in Christ, let’s love them enough to care whether or not they are injured. And, love yourself enough not to injure your reputation in Christ. If what we are saying is not kind or helpful, it’s simply not necessary.

4. Am I setting an example for other believers or non-believers? I know we hear all the time that YOU may be the only bible that some people read. Whether we know it or not, whether we believe it or not, people are watching us all of the time. Don’t get me wrong, you want to be real and authentic all of the time. Let’s let our real and authentic love for Christ shine through in our character, how we interact with others, and how we treat others. We want this light to shine so His light can draw others to Him and in closer relationship with Him.

5. If my pastors, mom, or anyone else that I love or respect in the faith were standing behind me without me knowing it, would I be ashamed? Most importantly, would this interaction please God? This has been a great self check in the past for me, and sometimes even now. Would you be embarrassed if someone saw you flying off the handle at your customer? Do you think God would be pleased about how you are treating His child that He loves dearly?

In the thick of it, some of these points could be really hard to overcome. I have found over the years, the more time we spend with God in His word and in prayer, the more the fruit of His spirit becomes evident in our lives, and the easier it is to take a pause, stay calm, and treat others with kindness.

You will have off days. You will miss the mark. So don’t beat yourself up. Get back up, dust yourself off, and love God enough to love others well by not blowing a fuse.

We can do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength. Even when that dude cuts us off in traffic.